Phoenix Men’s Big Battle XXII
“Whatever illness your wife is suffering from, you must understand that she is totally incapable of giving birth to a new life.
That kid can’t be born, unless you want her to die early! ” The stern words of the highly esteemted doctor were still in his ears.
Shen Wenhan knew very well that he only wanted Wen Rushi to live in peace and security compared with his own flesh and blood that he’d never met. He didn’t care about blood, nor did he cling to this surname.
However, Wen Rushi cared.
Whenever he wanted to open his mouth and let her get rid of that little life, he would see Wen Rushi sitting on the sofa excitedly choosing baby clothes on the tea table. She even shoved them into his face to try whether it was as comfortable as in the description or not.
Shen Wenhan couldn’t say ‘No’ to her.
She would teach him in his ear what kind of material was the softest, what kind of milk powder couldn’t be drunk, what kind of education was more helpful to the growth of children, what kind of school teachers were the best.
She would lie on her back and whisper to him that her greatest dream was to have a child for both of them.
He would have big bright and clear eyes like her, and a tall nose like him. He also would be as clever as him, and as considerate as her.
She would say all these with a smile and fall asleep in his arms. Shen Wenhan would feel as if a knife was being twisted in his heart every time she talked about this matter.
Every word she said was a torture for him.
Shen Wenhan didn’t know what to do to get rid of the idea that she had to give birth to this child. Things seemed to have reached a deadlock. Wen Rushi’s life was getting more dangerous as days passed by, and his mood was also getting more and more anxious.
Even Wen Rushi sensed his restlessness.
One night, when Wen Rushi woke up from her dream and raised her hand to touch the cold space beside her, she was stunned for a while before she fully woke up. Something like this had never happened in recent months.
Since their reconciliation, Shen Wenhan would accompany her no matter how late it was. Even when he hadn’t finished with his work, he would bring the work over and do it in their room. He wanted Wen Rushi to see him after she opened her eyes.
She lifted the quilt and went out barefoot.
There was no light in the spacious living room. Shen Wenhan was standing by the window with his extinguished cigarette. She couldn’t see his expression clearly because of the dim moonlight.
Wen Rushi stood silently at the door of the room watching him take cigarettes out one after another.
Wen Rushi was sure of it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel awkward and hide from her like this. This explained all her doubt.
Shen Wenhan knew it earlier than she thought.
She smiled, but it wasn’t a smile at all.
This wasn’t the result Wen Rushi wanted. She wanted to use her remaining time to make him enjoy happy family life, instead of being the one protected by him as she was now.
She owed a debt to Shen Wenhan. Maybe she couldn’t pay it in all her life.
Wen Rushi walked quietly and hugged his thin waist from behind.
Shen Wenhan, who was stunned, quickly extinguished the cigarette in his hand and turned around to hold her in his arms. He touched her thin nightgown, and scold, “Why don’t you wear more clothes before coming here? It’s cold at night. I will accompany you in.”
Wen Rushi still buried her face into his chest. She stubbornly refused to move.
Shen Wenhan could only sigh and caressed her long hair. He explained in a low voice, “I’m just worried about my work. You don’t have to worry about it.”
It’s good that he didn’t say it. On the contrary, Wen Rushi was even sadder. How could she get such care from Shen Wenhan?
“… I’m sorry.” Wen Rushi moved her lips.
His hand, that was used to caress her hair, suddenly paused. Shen Wenhan was a perceptive person. How could he not guess why she suddenly said such a thing?
He smiled sadly. Their peaceful life was builded up from their lies, and his lie would be exposed eventually.
At the moment, he really hoped that Wen Rushi was just a Miss Qianjin who knows nothing about the world. (TL: 千金小姐 = Miss Qianjin: unmarried women of the wealthy family.) Don’t be so smart that it hurt.
“There’s nothing to say sorry about. I’m the one who’s incompetent. I can’t protect you and our child.”
Shen Wenhan tightened his arms and only had a bitter smile on his face. His sadness wasn’t less than that of Wen Rushi when he asked her to take away her hope by himself.
“I’ve arranged to take you to see a doctor tomorrow.” Shen Wenhan said with difficulty. Whether he liked it or not, he had no choice. “When you get well, you can have as many children as you want.”
She choked up. She might promise him the treatment If she didn’t know her fate. But no one knew better than her that no matter who Shen Wenhan invited, no matter how hard he worked, he couldn’t save her life.
She couldn’t lose their child because that’s her only chance to leave him her offspring.
Even if she would die for this purpose.
“Rushi.” After hearing no response from her, Shen Wenhan said in a low voice as though he wanted to plead her, “Promise me we won’t have this child, will you?”
Tears fell from her eyes. Wen Rushi embraced him tightly and said nothing.
For a long time ago, Shen Wenhan had known that no matter what it was, if Wen Rushi desired it, he would always be the who gave in.
But this time, he couldn’t do that.
Shen Wenhan led her to the room and watched her close her eyes and fall asleep. He lay wearily beside her.
He used his thumb to wipe tears from her eyes as her eyelashes were moist with tears.
What an idiot! She must think that if she wept silently in his arms then he wouldn’t know that she had cried.
Shen Wenhan gazed quietly at her sleeping face. He would take Wen Rushi to the hospital at dawn and hope that she wouldn’t wake up that time. He didn’t want her to cry like she did tonight.
If she wanted to hate him, he would let her. As long as she was alive then he could withstand anything she threw at him.
Shen Wenhan, who had made up his mind, soon fell asleep. If he had realized earlier that Wen Rushi was gone the next day, he would never dare to close his eyes once. Even if that meant he would stay up all night.
The ID card and passport in the cabinet were taken away, but all her clothes were still here. She only left him a letter on the table.
He crumpled the letter up into a ball. He knew what Wen Rushi would write even without looking at it.
He never hated her so much! Shen Wenhan stood in the empty hall and laughed sardonically. Was her life so worthless? She easily gave up her life for the sake of a baby that hadn’t even formed yet!
What was he to her?
The unsealed envelope was torn to pieces by him. Shen Wenhan laughed until he burst into tears.
Sunlight illuminated the room. The light shone onto him, but he could only felt a chill.
Sunrise and sunset, Shen Wenhan just sat on the sofa. His phone had been ringing for some times, but he didn’t answer. If Wen Rushi was gone, what else did he contact the doctor for?
She promised that she would never leave just like last time. She had promised him!
As the night deepened, Shen Wenhan’s empty eyes slowly turned to the mobile phone on his desk. He could look for her again. If he wanted, he could always find her.
But what happened when he found her? Shen Wenhan didn’t know. Was she going to have an abortion? She wouldn’t run away if she was willing to do that.
Wen Rushi wouldn’t want him to find her.
She didn’t even want him for a child… Shen Wenhan raised his hand to cover his eyes and trembled slightly.
Bear: Thanks you for reading!